I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
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