no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
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