..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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