I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
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