It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
everyone is single if you try hard enough
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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