We won't sleep together?
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
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