Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
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