Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
