I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
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