Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
