Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
my being single is dangerous.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
