Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
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