i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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