He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize