i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
