so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Randomize
