and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Randomize
