If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Randomize
