I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
