I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
