She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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