you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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