woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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