you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
