things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
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