I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Randomize
