soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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