I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
only you would photoshop your dick
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
She even gives head with a lisp.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
