it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
Randomize