oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Randomize
