No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Randomize
