Your face is a jimmy john
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
we're so committed to being not committed
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize