He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Randomize
