Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
COCAINE IS GR8
Don't tell me you're on acid again
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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