Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
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