I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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