It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
