Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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