I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
