my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Randomize