so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
I intend to get homeless drunk
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
