we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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