i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
