And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
