Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
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