Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
