He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Randomize
