It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
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