is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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