Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Randomize
