OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize