M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Randomize
