You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
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