There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Randomize