so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I have post one night stand depression
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